Wednesday 28 January 2015

The Road To Oblivion

To follow in an odd fashion, I'm posting again just one day after my previous verbal vomit. Goodness me, what is taking over? Perhaps boredom? Or an inexplicable need to find a hobby or something I enjoy. Think I'll err more towards the later.

Do you know that I never know what I'm going to write about until I'm half way through writing it? Even then it's subject to change. To be honest, I never know what I've written about until I finish it. Curioser and curioser said Alice.

I think, to start off with, this is just tid bits of nothing-ness. Although, nothing is ever really nothing. If you had enough energy to say it and enough brains to think up the statement/question/objection then it must have some foundation and mean something to you and if not you, then somebody else.
Sometimes, I just say things so that I'm not the only one left out of the conversation being the quiet owl and sometimes I say things before I have the brain capacity to tell my tongue to, quite politely, shut up.
Same thing comes with writing, however my brain capacity usually tells me to proof-read whatever I have written to make sure I haven't doubled up on words or left one out due to a brain working faster than my fingers on the keyboard. Rarely does this happen as I think my touch typing skills (courtesy of a wonderful mother and technical job) can outrun any thoughts that may be constantly populating in my head... who am I kidding. The brain always works faster. That is courtesy of God giving me a brain. The only thing I dislike about that is the overtime. I mean, you can finish work, come home, forget about the job, but the brain is like a constant double-time full-time job. Imagine this, it's 2am, you've been woken up by some twitch of a muscle and then you start thinking... and keep thinking... and can't stop thinking. We're all familiar with this. The only way to put myself to sleep is by doing something repetitive that still somehow occupies my little grey brain cells. For me, it's saying Hail Marys. Takes me back to praying the rosary and counting how many I can pray. Rarely will I make it past 10 before I'm back in the land of nod. And this, my dear friends, is the only thing that stops my brain. I know God wants me to sleep... heck, if he didn't I would have died of exhaustion by now and I strongly doubt that's His plan with my life. Imagine that! God creating us only to have us die of exhaustion because He won't let us sleep. If anybody actually thinks that about their own lives, you probably see rainbow unicorns too. If that's you, stop on the prescriptionless self medication, it's bad for you.

Don't ever think that it's a bad thing that you think so much. Normally, those that do are higher prone to depression. Yes, this indeed 'sucks'. But... your brain was given to you for a reason. To use it. You are smart, you are clever, you are a human being that is given life to not only live and use to His glory but also to help others. Generally helping others is to His glory. You can use the time you think to pray. You can use it to pray for yourself, for your loved ones, for your pets, your job, your finances, your best friends. If you put this much energy into praying as you do to introverted thoughts or just random thoughts in general (for those less inwardly consumed), then you can put all that prayer and thought and love into others that need it. Even your enemies or old foes.

If you have trouble sleeping tonight, or find yourself exhausted and unable to cope with the world, take that last little bit of strength you have, make a resolve, and start praying. Start for yourself it always seems to be easier to slip into it that way, then once you've finished spraying all your emotional thoughts out there into the heavens, pray for others. Guaranteed you will fall asleep, feel better or both. If you don't, open that bottle of wine, have half a glass, find some carbs and go back to bed (I always fancy croissants). If you're averse to half an alcoholic beverage to lull you to sleep, have a glass of milk. If you're lactose intolerant, perhaps look at valerian and if you're averse to sleeping pills... get a brick and knock yourself on the head. I hear it can lead to comas or concussions but seriously what else is there to do? All ideas welcome as I've tried all of the above minus the brick for the sheer simple fact that I have no bricks lying around my bedroom and I don't wish to harm the guitars...

Rest easy my friends, tomorrow is a big day. It's a new day, with no mistakes in it yet.

Elizabeth

1 comment:

  1. I love the fact that when we can't sleep He is awake too...waiting, ready, listening, answering, and returning us to slumber. xx

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